Boundaries II
The whole of person's body (not just areas covered by swim suits) is their personal space and you need their freely given permission to touch or hold them.
Kids: What about our close friends and siblings and parents?
Me: Because of the close relationship you have with these groups of people, you have their default permission to touch, hold, and hug in ways you have always done. However, just because someone has always been okay with you touching them does not mean they cannot change their mind. That goes for you too, you should always tell even me and Dad anytime you are not comfortable being touched. You must listen to what people say with their words or actions. If someone says they don't want to be touched, do not touch them. If they do not respond to your touch the way they normally do e.g. if the person is unenthusiastic, stiffens, squirms, or seems to move away from the touch, you must stop immediately and find out if they are okay because “Their body, their rules.”
Most of us have had to have this conversation multiple times with the adults in our lives: Do not scratch people’s palms, be careful with those tight and lingering hugs, do not insist on getting a handshake or a hug, don’t rub pregnant bellies uninvited ... the list goes on.
Comments
Post a Comment