One day during family pop quiz (No credit to us. It was a Netflix program, and we were playing along), one of the questions was, “Why do people spend so much time planning what they will wear to prom?” Kids: Because they want to flex. Me: Why would you want to flex on prom night? Kids: It is the only day you can show the teachers that you are dope. Me: But why flex? The back and forth continued until I realized we were on two dimensions. For my generation, “flexing” is fighting; for their generation, it means “to show off.” Exhibit 2: While traveling out of the country for work I was chatting online with Jason (11 years). After some time, he said Mama, it was nice chatting, but now I have to be AFK Me: What is that? Jason: Away from the keyboard. It means I am going to do something away from the computer. Exhibit 3: We intentionally purchased a home water dispenser with a safety button to prevent children from accidentally pressing and burning themselves. Some months ago, I needed
Boundaries II The whole of person's body (not just areas covered by swim suits) is their personal space and you need their freely given permission to touch or hold them. Kids: What about our close friends and siblings and parents? Me: Because of the close relationship you have with these groups of people, you have their default permission to touch, hold, and hug in ways you have always done. However, just because someone has always been okay with you touching them does not mean they cannot change their mind. That goes for you too, you should always tell even me and Dad anytime you are not comfortable being touched. You must listen to what people say with their words or actions. If someone says they don't want to be touched, do not touch them. If they do not respond to your touch the way they normally do e.g. if the person is unenthusiastic, stiffens, squirms, or seems to move away from the touch, you must stop immediately and find out if they are okay because “Their body, t