Boundaries
I have had sessions where the problem is a relationship (work/ friendship/intimate) broken because of something (verbatim) “trivial”, “small”, “no big deal”. Sometimes the person laying the complaint is the victim and other times it is the offender.
Boundary breaker, when you have done something to offend someone you have abused their boundary. It does not matter how “trivial”, “small”, or “no big deal,” you think the thing you did is; there is only ONE of only TWO things that you can do to correct it.
1. Apologize to them without using the word BECAUSE or BUT.
BECAUSE means you are blaming them for your action.
BUT means you are justifying your action.
Any of these two words is simply adding salt to a wound you caused in the first place.
2. Accept their refusal of your apology.
Sometimes we hurt people so bad that they do not want to have anything to do with us again. If you try to prevail on someone who does not want your apology, you are once again breaching their boundary. Yes, more salt to the wound you caused.
We all have boundaries in multiple areas of our lives and the duty of a civilized human being is to respect other’s boundaries no matter how trivial they may seem
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